Life Lessons from Working with Children

This was written by Vera, one of our student interns. The opinions expressed herein do not reflect those of Civitas other than respect for the value of open dialogue.

This summer, by no conscious decision of my own, I have spent more time with children than possibly ever before. I have no younger siblings, no young cousins in the area and a short-lived career of sporadic babysitting jobs. But this year, a string of opportunities presented itself, and although wary of the many drawbacks that could soon be in my future, I accepted the proposition of a kid-filled summer. Volunteering at summer camps and community centers, babysitting, and visiting my 1 and 3 year old cousins have hopefully graced me with the experiences to depart my wisdom on the numerous life take-aways I have gained from the silly antics of small children.  

1. Never take anything too seriously

While working at a Girl Scout camp with 7 and 8 year olds, I began to find that the only way to keep every child entertained and engaged was by finding quick and simple games requiring no materials. Mafia, a game of social deduction created by Dimitri Davidoff in the 1980’s, happened to be a fan favorite among these Girl Scouts.  The essence of this game is secrecy; however for the life of me, I could not get these children to play one round without giggling when they were chosen, announcing their victim out-loud or peeking incessantly when their eyes were supposed to be closed.  I began to get a bit frustrated with the girls’ inability to carry out the rules of a simple game, wanting desperately for them to pick another activity that they could more easily follow. But then I realized, they were having the time of their lives. After months of being apart, online and with masks, the opportunity to play together freely was all they wanted, regardless of the rules.  

2. Avoid turning your back on a friend 

During Covid especially, finding jobs as a babysitter was quite difficult. So as life started to open back up and kids were let out of school, I found myself with a lot more opportunities to work as a babysitter. This past week, I took some time out of my very busy schedule of listening to podcasts for Civitas, to watch the six year old across the street. All was going well, we were outside throwing a ball back and forth, when I told her it was likely time for me to go. I asked if we could go inside, so I could grab my phone and check the time, but by virtue of my own inexperience, I mistakenly gave her a head start to the door. Although her hyper and excitable attitude could have warned a more adept babysitter of the antics that were to follow, I was completely caught off guard when she ran inside, closed the door and locked it. There I was, standing in my neighbor’s back yard with no form of communication with any adult, as a six year old inside hysterically laughed, eating Oreos with free rein and threatening to throw my phone in the garbage. It was evident that she was not doing this out of anger or frustration, she really just thought it was funny, and like most kids she had little concept of what it meant to be crossing a line. After waiting outside for a bit and trying to negotiate, I landed on “I’m going to tell your mom” as the winning solution to getting the door opened. While this was a mere inconvenience, and obviously I survived, I think it taught me a little bit about never being too trustworthy, especially when you’re placing your trust in the hands of a hyper, sugar addicted little kid. 

3. There’s joy in the little things

Ranging from a 9 year old to a one year old, the fastest solution to any meltdown/tantrum is a distraction. I really started to use this tactic of peacemaking while visiting my young cousins in Delaware. With two toddlers and a pretween, madness was sure to ensue. There was constant fighting over toys, food and almost every object that could be tugged about from child to child.  One particular time my sixteen month old cousin had an especially sharp item in his hands, a spear used for grilling or marshmallows that he had probably found resting by the grill or on the ground, strewn about. I first tried asking him to drop the weapon, which after obviously failing, transgressed into an attempt to forcibly remove it from his hands. His tight finger wouldn’t budge, so in a lasting effort to protect my young cousin from stabbing himself with a spear, I held my finger out with a beckoning move to get him to give the spear to me. And he dropped it, not because he agreed to hand the dangerous item away, but because the movement of my fingers momentarily entertained him.  He shortly moved on to the next thing, but it was significant to me because of the simple pleasures that children are able to find in minute things, such as a finger gesture. I think there’s beauty in small distractions, and we could all stand a little to gain from allowing ourselves to be swept up into the fun of something simple.